Mailbag: How To Regain Interest in a Lost Season

Dear Internet Man Who Lives in My Computer,
I have a question. This is the time in the fantasy baseball season when I have trouble staying motivated. I start going away on weekends to go to weddings or bachelor parties or the beach or, more likely, the office, and fantasy baseball isn't always the top item on my list of things to catch up on during the week. Plus, especially in my points league, the status quo seems to be sorting stuff out so I feel like I'm destined to finish in 4th to 7th place no matter what I do. Nobody good is available on waivers, at least anybody who will make a real difference in my performance, and I'm too lazy to trade with anybody but the guy who low-balls me four times a day. Any advice about how to keep my interest up and make a move?
Sincerely,
metsfankrod
PS - okay, maybe more like 6th to 9th place.

Hey, good to hear from you again Krod Mandoon.  How is your epic quest to ruin television going?  From what I hear, you are almost there.  Congrats.

Losing interest as the season goes on is a common problem, though one not always caused by "my life is too awesome to care" syndrome, which you seem to possess.  If I was traveling every weekend to hang out with my friends or go to the beach, I'd probably lose interest too.  Sounds pretty nice.  Your office is probably on a boat.  Jerk.

If you are still fielding trade offers and checking the waiver wire, it sounds like you are not quite a lost cause yet, which is terrific.  There is nothing worse than being in a league where guys completely check out in May (Ok, maybe a couple things are worse - plague, famine, Coldplay).  I hope no matter how much you stop caring, you always log-in at least once a week for 30 seconds to set your lineup.  If you can't do that, you should give up fantasy baseball as a hobby because such behavior can ruin it for everyone.  Now please put your hands up everyone, the only way I exit my soap box is through crowd-surfing.

Blast Trade Email - I find trade talks to be the best aspect of fantasy, but you say you're too lazy to deal with anyone but the guy who lowballs you.  It sounds to me that you mainly just don't want to think of trades yourself and merely want to react to those offered to you.  Fair enough.  Take the time to send out a quick email to everyone in the league naming specific people on your team you are looking to trade.  Make sure the list includes at least half of the ten best players on your team.  Once you bait the hook with top notch talent, you'll get offers back.  You can then evaluate trades being brought to you and not have to think of your own from scratch.  Maximum fun, minimal effort.  Perfect for a guy like you.

Acquire Guys You Like - Fantasy baseball almost always makes you watch more of the real version.  Therefore use my first suggestion to trade for as many guys you love to watch play as possible, even if you have to overpay.  If you are convinced you are not going to win anyways, you might as well like your team.  So go trade for a couple of Mets or pursue a mancrush on guys like Ian Kinsler, Justin Verlander, Adam Dunn, or others who are a ton of fun to watch.

Irrational Feuds - Another enjoyable aspect of fantasy sports is the trash talk that occurs on the message board and over email.  I suggest you pick one guy in the league (doesn't really matter where they are in the standings) and just start talking a mountain of trash about their teams.  What you say doesn't even have to be true; as long as it is funny no one will care.  Pick on the guy over and over again.  An irrational feud will develop and as long as the attacks don't become personal, good times will ensue.  This only works in leagues among friends though.  Strangers tend to either ignore these attacks (normal, balanced behavior) or respond with tons of cursing, threats, and misspellings (hello psychos).  Either way, it's not as much fun.

Side Bets -Sounds like part of your problem is that no matter what you do, you lack the belief you can win the league.  While that may be true over the course of the entire season, you can always win over shorter periods of time if the slate is wiped clean.  Find other people who are bored and start placing side wagers over specific amounts of time like a month, a week, even a day.  Use the standings to create odds.  If the two teams are not within 2 places of each other in the standings, the higher placed team has to give an extra 25% in odds (ie the 1^st place team would have to give the 4^th place team 5/4 and the 5^th place team 3/2).  Winner gets as many units of pride as were wagered.

This method is perfect for points leagues.  Simply record the standings on the day the bet starts and subtract it from the standings the day the bet ends.  You don't have to keep track of all the various stats in between, just the point totals.  You'll regain the thrill of competition with hardly any extra work.  Gives you more time to hang out on your boat.  Jerk.