Marry, Bury, Date: Week 8

Welcome back to another week of Marry, Bury, Date — the
childhood game I’ve hijacked to provide the framework for my initial foray into
providing expert fantasy baseball advice.

 

The premise of the game is simple.  Three names are thrown out and the participants
must pick which one they would Marry (ie commit to long-term), Bury (get rid of
forever), or Date (could be fun in the short-term).  When considering trade offers or waiver wire
pick-ups, fantasy players are faced with these same three decisions all the
time, so in an effort to help aid these choices, I’ll name one player who I
like for the rest of the season, one player who I think could help in the
short-term, and one guy I wouldn’t touch in this space each week.

 

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After I’m done, if you want to whisper to the player that I
“like ‘em, like ‘em” that’s up to you. 
If you do, I look forward to the awkwardness that ensues all the way
through the Junior High Prom.  Maybe I’ll
get my courage up and ask them to dance during Oasis’s “Wonderwall.”

 

This week’s picks are below.

Marry

 

Ben Zobrist – Turns
out I was right when I said a Tampa Bay Ray would be the best Rickie Weeks
replacement out there, I just got the wrong guy (but I was right about him
sounding like a villain.  While Iwamura
could be the name of the next bad guy on “Heroes,” Zobrist sounds more like an old-school
comic-book criminal mastermind.  Most
names that start with the letter Z have that feel though.  I’m pretty sure it’s the evilest of all
letters.) 

 

Now that Iwamura is out for the season, Zobrist’s value
skyrockets.  He’s going to play every day
and will qualify all over the field.  He’s
already eligible at SS and OF in most leagues and will be available at 2B
soon.  That kind of flexibility is
invaluable in deeper leagues.  He looks
like he’ll be this year’s version of Ryan Theriot:  A midseason pick-up that will help you fill
holes all over your roster as the season wears on and injuries pile up.  Additionally, while he won’t keep hitting
homers at his current pace, now that he’ll threaten to get 475 at-bats on the
year, he’s got a shot at hitting 23-25 long balls while maintaining his current
.289 average.  Put all this together and
he’ll be a great guy to own in 12 team or deeper leagues the rest of the year.

 

Bury

 

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Kosuke Fukudome -
When I got home from traveling last night and started looking at guys to
consider in this space, I was shocked to see Fukudome’s ownership rate was so
high.  This might be the first time I’ve
seen male immaturity directly affect a player’s fantasy value in a significant
manner.  A considerable number of people
who are starting him have to be doing so only because of the team name factor.

 

While Fukudome has decent numbers right now, his splits from
last year casts serious doubt upon whether he will continue to contribute to
fantasy teams for the rest of the season. 
His batting average got worse every single month last season as he hit
.305 during the month of April before falling all the way down to .178 during
September.  This year he hit .338 in
April with four homers and 15 RBIs.  He’s
currently hitting .271 with zero homers and 3 RBIs in May.  This does not end well.  Trade him for whatever you can get before it
is too late.

 

Date

 

Michael Cuddyer -
Thanks to a recent power surge, Cuddyer is among the hottest names in fantasy
and has seen his ownership percentage quadruple.  He’s earned it, hitting .337 with seven
homers so far this month.  Chances are
pretty decent that he’s already been picked up in your league, but if he hasn’t
you should grab him now.

 

However, I would not be hopeful that his recent tear
continues.  There is nothing in his past
that indicates he can keep this up, as he’s had below average power numbers for
a Major League outfielder for most of his career.  He did have a nice season in 2006 when he hit
24 dingers and drove in 109 runs, but he’s been trending downward ever
since.  If you own Cuddyer, you should be
shopping him, marketing his recent hot streak as part of a two for one that
might net you back a top-25 outfielder. Otherwise, like so many other “date”
candidates, just enjoy the torrid hot streak while it lasts and be prepared to
dump him when he reverts back to form. 

 

Thanks for reading, tomorrow is the mailbag, so leave any
questions you may have in the comments below.

1 Comment

Zobrist also has a sweet nickname. The Zorilla. Not even kidding.

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