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When I interviewed The Fantasy Man last week, he described
our match-up as “on like Donkey Kong.”
His prediction turned out to be entirely true. Unfortunately for me, he was the 800 pound
gorilla and I was nothing but the barrels.
After a month long stretch of dominance, I received my first
true whooping in an expert league. The
Fantasy Man beat me 7-2-1, vaulting over my team into first place in the
process. I’ve got no excuses. My team put up decent numbers, but in a
league this competitive “decent” doesn’t get it done. It’s like seeing a prospect that has a
“decent” fastball tear through the minors, but when he receives his call up to
the show, his first heater inevitably disappears into the night faster than
Rorschach. Big league hitters make their
living off of “decent.”
It’s a healthy reality check as I was starting to get a
little pompous. My initial success led
me to believe that the rest of the season would be easy and that my powerful sharkelephant
offense would just continue to trample and eat everything in its path. I’m sure it’s how EMF felt in 1990 when “Unbelievable”
hit number one on the charts and they felt they’d dominate the music scene
for the next decade. That didn’t, as
they say, “work out” for them.
Hopefully, I won’t due something as dumb as featuring Mark David Chapman
(the guy who shot Lennon) on an album released by a British band and I’ll right
the ship this week.
(By the way, this actually happened. Even Homer’s barbershop quartet declaring
they were bigger than Jesus wasn’t as big a musical misstep. It would be like Soulja Boy following up “Crank
Dat” with a new track featuring James Earl Ray and then wondering why his
career disappeared. I have to assume the thought of including Chapman on the record is what inspired them to write “Unbelievable”. And yes, this is the most ink ever spilled on EMF by a fantasy baseball writer. And yes, that is a challenge).