Marry, Bury, Date: Week 5

Welcome back to another week of Marry, Bury, Date — the
childhood game I’ve hijacked to provide the framework for my initial foray into
providing expert fantasy baseball advice.

 

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The premise of the game is simple.  Three names are thrown out and the
participants must pick which one they would Marry (ie commit to long-term),
Bury (get rid of forever), or Date (could be fun in the short-term).  When considering trade offers or waiver wire
pick-ups, fantasy players are faced with these same three decisions all the
time, so in an effort to help aid these choices, I’ll name one player who I
like for the rest of the season, one player who I think could help in the
short-term, and one guy I wouldn’t touch in this space each week.

 

After I’m done, if you want to whisper to the player that I
“like ’em, like ’em” that’s up to you. 
If you do, I look forward to the awkwardness that ensues all the way
through the Junior High Prom.  Maybe I’ll
get my courage up and ask them to dance during Boyz II Men’s “Hard To Say
Goodbye.”

 

This week’s picks are below.

Marry

 

Ryan Spilborghs
Most of the time when you say a guy is going to have a career year, it’s a
stretch.  But not with Spilborghs, who is
playing every day in Colorado and is set to double all of his numbers as a
result.  A regular for the first time at
29, Spilborghs does not have a massive ceiling, but because of his situation,
he’s a perfect 4/5 outfielder.  He’s a
career .300 hitter batting in the top three of a Colorado lineup
that’s currently 4th in the NL in runs per game.  As a result, he’s going to give you above
average production in average and runs and with the speedy Dexter Fowler
hitting ahead of him most days (and stealing bases like Kate Hudson steals
paychecks), he’ll actually have a chance to drive in 90+ runs as well.

 

Put it all together and you have a guy on most leagues’
waiver wire that is going to end the season with a .300/90/20/10/95 line.  So if you need an outfielder or are thinking
about trading one of your starters and you need a replacement, grab Spilborghs
now.

 

(and yes, I’m aware his name kind of sounds like Steven Spielberg’s,
but because I’m sure you are going to hear 1,000 Spilborghs/Spielberg “summer
blockbuster” jokes this baseball season, I’ve elected to spare you one more,
except to say this.  Ryan will be much
better than the last Indiana Jones movie. 
That flick sucked).

 

Bury

 

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Lastings Milledge
– As both a Nats fan and a guy who targeted Lastings in every fantasy draft
this past spring, this one is painful. 
When he first got sent down, I thought he’d just make a few quick
adjustments to both his plate approach and his attitude and then he’d be right
back in the Bigs.  But all the reports
say that’s not the case, in fact the exact opposite is happening and Lastings
is taking the demotion worse than Dennis and Dee took theirs on “It’s Always
Sunny in Philadelphia” (and since they responded by picking up a crack habit in
order to stay on welfare, that’s saying something). 

 

Milledge is reportedly refusing to be coached and is
insisting on doing things his own way at the plate.  Who knows, maybe this will help him produce,
but he sure isn’t ingratiating himself to the Nats management who detemine things
like whether his apartment in DC gets used or whether he should be looking to buy a
house in Syracuse.  Either way, unless
you are in a dynasty league where you keep virtually your entire roster or a
league that’s so deep that a guy who will get under 300 at-bats is still worth
owning, Milledge now officially has no value. 
His return is not imminent and with Elijah Dukes raking and a healthy
Nick Johnson keeping Dunn in the outfield, there isn’t room for him
anyways.  Sad, but true.

 

Date

 

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Hank Blalock -I
just can’t stay away from Blalock.  In my
mind, he’ll always be the guy who lit the league on fire as a youngster, banging
out 32 long balls and driving in 110 runs at the age of 23.  Even though that was six years ago and he’s
gotten injured more often than Kenny McCormick since then, that’s how I’ll
always see him.

 

But right now, there is legit reason for optimism.  Blalock is thriving in his role as DH and
with Hamilton currently out, now is the time to move on Blalock as he’s no
longer frequently losing at-bats to Andruw Jones.  He appears to be healthy and is averaging a
homer every 12.7 at-bats.  As long as he
can continue to remain in the lineup (staying off the field should help quite a
bit), he’ll hit over 30 dingers and with Kinsler and company in front of him,
he’ll drive in over 100 runs no problem. 
Just what you want out of a corner infielder and you can get him cheap
or for free in most leagues.

 

The only reason I’ve got him listed under Date instead of
Marry is his past injury history.  It’s
as if you ran into a high school girlfriend that you never fully got out of
your system 10 years later.  You remember
her being great when she was younger, but you don’t want to move too fast.  You’ll want to go out a few times, maybe play
a few games first before you get too serious. 
Just a tip.

 

Thanks for reading, tomorrow is the mailbag, so leave any
questions you may have in the comments below.

2 Comments

I missed the trade article, but you’re right on the money with the insulting initial offer. I’ve now been offered multiple poopoo platters: JJ Putz for VMart (holds is a need of mine) and Juan Cruz+Rickie Weeks for Pedroia. I’ve countered the second guy with what I think is a pretty reasonable offer: Pedroia+Wandy Rodriquez for Santana+Marmol. Think it has a chance? He also has Ted Lilly, so if he counters with Lilly instead of Santana do I take it?

It would probably help to note that I have Alexei Ramirez ready to fill in at 2B, and it’s a 6×6 league that counts Holds. I’m extremely deficient in Holds thus far (5, count em), and Marmol is obvi a stud in that category + will sneak in some Saves along the way.

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