Marry, Bury, Date – Week 2

Welcome back to another week of Marry, Bury, Date — the
childhood game I’ve hijacked to provide the framework for my initial foray into
providing expert fantasy baseball advice.


The premise of the game is simple.  Three names are thrown out and the
participants must pick which one they would Marry (ie commit to long-term),
Bury (get rid of forever), or Date (could be fun in the short-term).  When considering trade offers or waiver wire
pick-ups, fantasy players are faced with these same three decisions all the
time, so in an effort to help aid these choices, I’ll name one player who I
like for the rest of the season, one player who I think could help in the
short-term, and one guy I wouldn’t touch in this space each week.


MS dance.jpg

After I’m done, if you want to whisper to the player that I
“like ’em, like ’em” that’s up to you. 
If you do, I look forward to the awkwardness that ensues all the way
through the Junior High Prom.  Maybe I’ll
get my courage up and ask them to dance during “Endless Love.” 


This week’s picks are below.



Dexter Fowler
Count me among the believers.  Fowler had
a huge debut week, hitting .385 with a stolen base and a pair of homers, one
from each side of the plate.  These
numbers alone make him intriguing, but when you factor in his place at the top
of the Rockies lineup, he becomes a must-add in all but the shallowest of
formats.  Hitting leadoff in Coors is
like being a cameraman for a swimsuit calendar – the girls are going to make
you look good, all you have to do is not screw it up.


This season, he’ll be like Fred Lewis with more power upside
and a better situation and will prove to be an excellent 4th outfielder.  Look for Fowler to take over the
centerfielder job permanently by mid-May and get over 450 at-bats this
year.  If he does so, he’ll be in the 20’s
in both homers and swipes and he’ll score close to 100 runs.  Given that he’s only 23 and is one of the top
20 prospects in all of baseball, these numbers could even be light.  If you have an empty spot or Eric Byrnes
(same thing), grab him now.





B.J. Ryan – The Roundtablers
on’s fantasy page will have more to say on struggling relievers this
week, but I’ve seen enough to be done with B.J. Ryan.  You can’t close if are constantly walking
guys, bringing the tying run to the plate every time out, especially when you
are throwing in the mid-80’s.  Ryan is
doing just that right now and absent overwhelming velocity or decent control,
he’s basically Wild Thing Vaughn without the talent. 

Ryan’s 10 million dollar salary can only keep him in the
role for so long.  The team is standing
behind him for now, but the Blue Jays fans seem to be openly calling for him to
be replaced.  Natives of Toronto haven’t
been this upset since “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” became Bryan Adams’
most popular song thus ending any argument that he “rocks”.  Throw in a dreadful spring and lingering questions
caused by his Tommy John operation and I’d be looking to deal Ryan after his
next good outing while he still has value.




Marco Scutaro – Staying in Toronto, Scutaro has been an
extremely popular pick-up after a hot opening week.  He’s playing everyday and hitting at the top
of the lineup, so he certainly has value. 
But his strong start this year doesn’t erase the fact that he’s a .262
career hitter who doesn’t have power or steal bases.  Chances are he doesn’t develop either skill
at the age of 33, so where is he really helping your team? 


Scutaro does provide excellent flexibility since he’s
eligible at second, third, and shortstop in most leagues, so if you have a
shallow bench and are looking to backup several injury prone infielders at
once, he’s a good fit.  Otherwise, ride
out his hot start, but be prepared to drop him once he shows signs of reverting
back to the mean.


Thanks for reading, tomorrow is the mailbag, so leave any
questions you may have in the comments below.


Love the first picture! Thanks for the advice!


You still have that Budweiser hat? I like your style.

You also get a hicky that night or was it just the guy in the background?

Toby, I have a question. My problem is that I have no patience. If a guy has a bad couple weeks, I want to drop him. Every time this happens, some other manager picks the guy up and naturally he goes on a tear. Of course, I learn from this, and the next time a guy’s in a slump, I hold onto him. When I do, naturally, he continues to suck. My favorite example of this (and when I say favorite I meant the example that most makes me want to drive my minivan into a wall) is Carlos Delgado who I drafted last year because he is a Mets and he is awesome. However, I ran into an unforseen problem which is that at the beginning of last year he totally sucked. So I dropped him when I could no longer stand his suckiness. Then some other loser picked him up and he was one of the most valuable players in the National League (which I sometimes refer to as just “The League”). I was still happy because I love the Mets, although I was extremely ********** when they imploded and missed the playoffs AGAIN. But not as pissed as I was that some other loser was getting fantasy points for Delgado’s awesomeness.

So, tell me, please, Toby, how to solve this problem. Thank you and have a happy day.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: